Bad Minions
by Zinka17
Summary: The minions are being very bad and Gru has to deal with them. What will happen? Read to find out! One-shot


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Despicable Me. They all belong to Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment.**

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><p>One day Gru, Margo, Agnes and Edith went to the store along with three minions. The minions left the others to go to the toy aisle. One of them, Dave, saw a camel toy and put it on Steve's head. Steve glared angrily at Dave and said, "Makee lomakke shakee!"<p>

Dave gasped in shock and yelled, "Shomakke telakke nop!"

He yelled it so loud that Gru could hear it all the way across the store. Everyone else heard it too, but only Gru could understand the minions' language. He ran over to them with the girls right behind him.

"Dave, Steve and Kevin, come here," Gru said sternly. They looked nervous but obeyed.

"Why did you use such bad language? What if Agnes, Margo and Edith could understand what you were saying? That would be a big no no! Watch your mouths!" Gru was very angry so he grabbed Steve and spanked him really hard.

"Ow!" Steve yelled. When Gru was done he put Steve down and picked up Kevin. He was about to spank him, but Kevin had something to say.

"Domakke hikkami plakki," he said.

"Dave, is this true? Was Kevin innocent and you and Steve were the ones who were cussing?" Gru asked.

Dave nodded his head solemnly. "Okay Kevin, you will not be spanked. Dave, come here!" Gru yelled. He picked Dave up and spanked him, but he spanked him harder than Steve because he said even worse things. After a few hard spanks, Gru set him down.

"Himakki gilakki tiakki wokki!" Dave complained.

"That's too bad that your bottom is sore. You shouldn't have said such bad things! Now, let's not have any more rude interruptions today. Let us shop and please behave you three!" Gru scolded the minions.

The seven of them continued walking through the store until they were by the ice cream aisle. "Ooh ooh!" Dave pointed excitedly to the mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"No no no no no!" Steve pointed to the strawberry ice cream.

"Nuh uh!" Kevin pointed to the vanilla ice cream.

"Hey! What did I say about you three messing around? No ice cream!" Gru yelled.

"Aw, I wanted strawberry ice cream," Agnes said sadly.

"I wanted mint chocolate chip ice cream," Edith whined.

"I wanted vanilla ice cream," Margo complained.

"Girls, all you had to do was tell me you wanted ice cream. I would have gotten it!" Gru said laughing. "One container of mint chocolate chip, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream coming up!"

He reached into the freezer to get them. While his head was in the freezer and he couldn't see behind him, Kevin jumped up and kicked his butt. "Ah! Who did that?" Gru asked angrily. Everyone pointed to Kevin. "So Kevin, this time it is _you _who is being naughty. Well Kevin, I think you know what happens to naughty minions!"

Gru picked Kevin up and spanked him really hard. Kevin was kicking around frantically and yelling, but that just made Gru spank him even harder. After several seconds he put Kevin down.

"I mean it you three! If you misbehave anymore you're going to be sorry! The spanking will get harder!" Gru warned the minions. They nodded their heads and followed Gru and the girls through the store. They went through the candy aisle. Gru intended on passing by it without getting anything, but he was wrong.

"Giwakki timakki lop?" Steve asked Gru.

"No you can't have any M&M's! We already got ice cream and we're not getting any more junk food!" Gru said annoyed as he started to walk away. Then he felt a tug on his shirt. He saw Agnes looking up at him with sad puppy eyes. He sighed then said, "Okay, I'll get a bag of M&M's."

The minions whispered a victorious 'Yesss!'

After several more minutes of shopping they went to the cash register and paid. They ended up getting a bunch of junk food and toys because the minions asked about them, and after Gru told them they couldn't have it the girls complained. Gru shouldn't have given in just because the girls wanted things, but he loved them so much and he wanted to make them happy and buy whatever.

After they paid for everything they went home. While Gru was putting the groceries away, the girls and the three minions were in the girls' bedroom. All of a sudden, Gru heard a really loud scream. Thinking it was one of the girls that got hurt, he quickly ran to their bedroom. When he opened their bedroom door, the girls and minions were just having a tea party, clanking their cups together.

"What's going on in here?" Gru asked.

"We're having a tea party. Can't you see that?" Edith answered.

"No no, I mean the scream! What happened? Did somebody get hurt?" Gru asked worriedly.

"No," Margo replied. "I didn't even hear anyone scream."

"Me either," Agnes said.

"Now if you don't mind Dad, we want to continue with the tea party," Edith said slightly annoyed.

"Of course girls. I'll see you later," Gru said walking out of the room and closing the door. "What could that have been? I know I heard someone scream! Hm, maybe it was Dr. Nefario or the other minions. I'll go to the lab."

When he got to the lab he saw a huge mess. There was broken glass and spilled chemicals everywhere. Then he saw two minions with a big beaker filled with blue liquid. "Ah! Fred and Brian, be careful with that!" It was too late though. They accidentally tripped and dropped the beaker.

A huge explosion happened, but strangely, Gru was the only one who got hurt. "Ugh, you two are in huge trouble!" He reached out for them but they laughed and got away. He ran after them, knocking even more stuff on the floor.

He finally got closer to them and grabbed Brian. He spanked him really hard. Brian was yelling and crying for Gru to stop. While this was happening, Dr. Nefario walked in and stopped when he saw the scene before him.

"What in the name of monkeys is going on here?" Dr. Nefario asked confused. Gru stopped spanking Brian and looked up.

"Oh hi Dr. Nefario! I was just um, you see, Brian and Fred spilled that explosive chemical and were being bad, so I was spanking them. Well, Brian anyway," Gru said laughing.

"Why are there spilled chemicals and broken glass everywhere?" Dr. Nefario asked.

"I don't know! I was going to ask _you _that question! It must have been the minions. Oh, they've been bad all day!" Gru said angrily while Brain snuck away.

"Well you can't just let them get away with this! You have to punish them!" Dr. Nefario said.

"Yes, I know. I've been spanking them, but there are hundreds of them! I can't spank _all_ of them! It'll take too long!" Gru complained.

"Well, maybe you could build a spanking machine. You've invented other gadgets, so I'm sure you could do it," Dr. Nefario said while picking up pieces of glass.

'_A spanking machine huh? Not a bad idea'. _Gru thought to himself.

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><p>"Hey Daddy, what's that?" Agnes asked Gru.<p>

"Oh this? This is just a spanking machine," Gru replied grinning.

"A spanking machine? Why would you wanna spank us? Aren't we good daughters?" Agnes asked worriedly.

"Of course you are Agnes! It's not for spanking you or your sisters. It's for the minions. They've been very bad lately," Gru explained.

"Oh okay! I can't wait to see them get spanked! It'll be funny!" Agnes giggled.

"Oh yes! It will be very funny!" Gru replied with an evil grin on his face.

A few hours later, five minions were goofing off in the lab and breaking stuff. Gru knew they were doing it, so he gathered up the girls and led them to the lab. "Hello Steve, Dave, Kevin, Brian and Fred," Gru said crossing his arms. "Why are you breaking stuff in my lab?"

They started to run away, but Gru caught two of them and each of the girls caught one. They led them to the spanking machine. "Now minions, I warned you about behaving and told you that you would be sorry, but you didn't listen!" Gru said. "Now, you really _will _be sorry!"

He put Kevin and Fred in the machine, Margo put Steve in, Edith put Brian in, and Agnes put Dave in. Then Gru closed the door to it and pressed a button. Five mechanical hands appeared and started spanking the minions.

They yelled and punched and kicked at the machine, but it didn't help at all. Gru and the girls were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. After a couple of minutes Gru decided that they had had enough. He turned the machine off and opened the door. The minions came out and ran away as fast as they could, yelling. They learned their lesson that day and never behaved badly again.

**The End**

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><p><strong>AN: I wrote this the day I first saw the movie in theaters, which was about a year ago. I didn't actually intend on posting it here because it's really silly and it was only written for my entertainment, but after a few paragraphs I decided that I would make a good story out of it and post it! Hopefully you thought it was funny!**


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